Level Headed Idiot asks Govt to Ban A Level Headed Idiot’s Blog for Blasphemous Content

In an interesting turn of events, Level Headed Idiot has asked the Government to ban A Level Headed Idiot’s Blog for hosting blasphemous content which could ignite communal tension. Level Headed Idiot requested the government to do so because he was sure that the content on his blog was offensive to a lot of people.

“The content on this blog is very passionate and full of malicious intent. I wish that no one reads this.”, the author said when asked about the reason for such a decision. He also added that he has already talked to technology giants like Google and Facebook to take off his content from their servers. Both organizations commented that while it is entirely possible to remove the content on request of an individual, it would be against their principles of privacy to completely remove any content, which might appear removed to the end user.

It was pointed out to the author that the blog has been around for more than two years and no one had said a word about the issues with it. The author said, “I am really offended by what I read on my blog. That means that there is a need to ban it. It doesn’t matter what the rest of the country or the world thinks about it”. One journalist present asked the author to stop blogging in that case. However, he counter argued that he had nothing better to do when he ran out of options on how to waste time. He also confirmed that this had nothing to do with the upcoming elections, even though no one asked him about it.

However, Level Headed Idiot’s alter ego issued a press release later in the day and it read thus:

My brain’s other half has gone completely insane. He is an attention seeking W#0&3 and did all this for publicity. You and I know that no one gives two hoots about his lame blog and even if they did, the worst they would do is pull their own tongues and commit suicide instead of going out and outraging about it. He is completely bonkers and wants more attention than some people whom he thinks, get more attention than they actually deserve due to their contacts as well as the “you rub my back, I’ll rub yours” policy. Deep inside, he is also jealous that he is not even 1% as talented as most of the people, whose work he sees all the time. Above all, he is always making failed attempts to come off as an intelligent person and this ban, he thinks, will make the public realize his intellect.

My Lunacy is Better than Yours!

The government, one for the World’s largest democracy lunocracy,  has given its go ahead to punish websites which host content that promotes enmity between classes and causes prejudice to national integration. Lol. BRB.

Back after that laughing bout.

I know we have some crazy neighbours. And this is like saying, “WE HAVE ARRIVED GAIZ!”

Tell me one instance of a riot that was caused by the internet in this country. No, don’t talk about the Egypts and Libyas of the world. Why you ask? Athenikkishtamalla! Also, those were rebellions against the governments. Not riots between different classes(Technically, it was because it involved a clash between the political class and the common populace). In order to hide their own fallacies and hear only good things about them means they do this.

Anyway, they did something really stupid because the internet based Indians are always making fun of things and don’t really go out to riot after reading anything.

Also, if we hand pick the governments from countries like Somalia, China, North Korea, Saudi Arabia, Egypt etc and mix and mash their mentalities, we get India.

I am going to apply for political asylum in some country like Canada. I’ll state the eccentricities of my government as the reason for seeking asylum.

Concluding by saying something offensive.

BEEF!

I want to meet…

• The first person to use his mobile phone while driving. And kick his butt. If he is alive, of course.
• The first person to tie a string at two ends and strum it and realize that it could make music.
• The first person who decided to take an egg, put it on the pan while stirring it constantly and introduced the world to the awesomeness that is scrambled eggs.
• The first person to start a pointless conversation. And repeat the things I mentioned in bullet #1.
• The first person to convene a meeting. And buy back all the time I have lost.
• The first person to kick a round thing and tell the world that a beautiful game could be played.
• The first person to take care of an animal and showed that a pet could be the most amazing thing in the world.
• The first person to take meat and a few ingredients and create magic out of them.

JLT

The last few times I published something, it was related to some of the things that happened. Specific events triggering the hormones responsible for making you type random crap brilliant stuff. The kind of posts that brought a few 100 readers to a place which otherwise resembled that way-side eating joint which opened recently and is empty due to the presence of a lot of popular food places in and around the area. The kind of numbers unseen before and gave me a kick. Which was also the downfall. I started setting myself standards to be met. The idea of writing random crap was flushed down with liters of elitism. I missed the joy of the good old days when I just wrote. I didn’t care if anyone read it or not. Anyone who wanted to read it would read it anyway. Or get forced to read by my constant IM based pestering.

So, I just thought I’ll write whatever came to my mind to rediscover the mojo.

The pressure was self imposed. I think it needs to go.

I’ve been listening to a lot of new music(to me) lately. Opeth(Heritage), Devin Townsend, Black Dahlia Murder, Amorphis, Orphaned Land, Amplifier, Steven Wilson(Grace for Drowning), Iced Earth. Probably the first time I’ve been listening to as many bands at one point of time. It’s fun though. Being able to switch between genres and different styles and enjoy the variations and the finesse of each work. Reviewed an album here.

I read quite a lot in the last couple of months as well. Not a lot compared to the bookworms out there. But yeah. I read Secrets of Naga, A Clockwork Orange, For Whom the Bell Tolls, Dork 2, Catcher in the Rye, Mercy which is like 6 books in 7-8 weeks. With about an hour and half of reading everyday, I think I am doing just fine. I’ve got into this Shelfari thingy. Please have a look and let me know if there are any good books that I should check out.

Another project I wanted to undertake was to troll this Anna Hazare dude. Sadly, he quit blogging and tweeting. I don’t care if he is the next Gandhi, but he is a phony. Of course, I would love it if corruption is eradicated in India, but putting pressure on the government like this and threatening to fast for everything is like those young kids who just pout when their parents don’t buy them their favourite lollipop. And the idea of holding a fast in Bombay as against Delhi because of the peak winters is pure gimmicky to tell you the truth. Also, why would he want his own version of that Bill to be passed and no other? Anyway, I started a tumblog which will just tell the world whether he is fasting or not. As you see, that is the answer to everything in India. Corruption, Poverty, Naxalism, General Douchebaggery etc.

Also, I don’t understand this general aversion by the elitists in the blogger world towards the word “Random”. If someone is writing about a lot of things in general, what should be call it? If everyone calls it Cacophony, then also you will have a problem. This is a problem I’ve seen with early adopters. They just need a reason to bully the new comers. Just say that no?

PS : I will tag this post with the word Random in protest

PPS : Anna Hazare is a wannabe

PPPS : I wrote something bad about the ruling party, but the powers that be may decide to screen the hell out of everything by employing 10 crore jobless ones to monitor the internet. So, I decided against it. To think about it, that’s a good way to generate employment, innit?

PPPS : Poda.

Riding the Lightning

After a wait of seven long years. Seven years after I started listening to the genre of music called Metal. I can finally say that I was there. I was there when one of the greatest bands in history played for the first time in my country. And they made up for the wait that has been endured by other metal heads in the country. Some who were older than my parents. Picture this, my most favourite album has been in existence longer than I have been. That’s three generations of fans rocking out to them when they did put out a night that every one will remember.

The wait started for me with a flight trip from the Capital City Region(whose show got cancelled and I don’t want to talk about that because there has been too much negativity in here for quite some time now). Bangalore gave me a warm welcome. The friends there, @zennmaster, @notfartingpen, @barkingbegum were very generous and kind hosts. A night of expectation later, we were up and ready to head to the venue.

If there was something called waiting, this is it. Don’t tell us about how you waited to get into a movie hall for 15 minutes. Or getting stuck in a traffic jam for 30 minutes. We waited 4 hours to get in. There was an ocean of people. Some camping outside the venue since the previous night. There couldn’t be a better definition for Pilgrimage. They were the Gods and we were the devotees trying to get a glimpse.

It started, as usual, with Ecstasy of Gold. That’s the part where 90% of the crowd lost their original voices. I was lucky enough to be in a noisier section of the crowd. The rituals that were to be done during Creeping Death were done religiously. There couldn’t have been a better opening to the show. Once it got over, the remaining 10% lost their voices. Creeping Death gave way to For Whom the Bell Tolls. Rob absolutely nailed the intro bass solo. They did mess up the timing a bit, but that was one of the few occasions when we felt they were human beings after all. The lights went off. The metal heads went wild for the next one because James screamed “Give Me Fuel, Give Me Fire..” and there were 10 feet high flames on the stage as part of the pyro. If the first two songs didn’t get the crowd wild, this one definitely did. This was the part where the fans got into that zone where they were extracting every last ounce of energy left.

Then they played Ride the Lightning. We knew the night was going to be a special one, if we didn’t already. The lights went out again. James was on the elevated section of the stage with an acoustic guitar on the stand. I choked on this one because this was a song that got me hooked on the very first listen that I listened to it 50 times on loop before moving on to other tracks on the album.

Cyanide was up next. The response wasn’t much to talk about. I would’ve been happier if they played Day that Never Comes instead of this one. I was complaining before the gig about this track featuring, but once they started, I didn’t. It sounded just like on the album.

Memory Remains was a track to remember. The crowd sang along during the whole track. The “Nananana” part at the end of the song had James smiling and just look at us in wonder. That was the high point of the night for me. We just didn’t stop singing.

Sanitarium followed. They were on a classics trip and we weren’t complaining. James asked us if we wanted a heavy number and proceeded to play Sad But True.

The next four tracks proved that we were watching four youngsters on stage instead of 50-somethings. The energy that they put into it was unbelievable. All Nightmare Long is one of the best Metallica tracks in my opinion. I was grossly disappointed, however, by the response it got. They absolutely nailed it, but all the crowd did was applaud in the end. We could have put in a lot more during the song.

Pyros were expected during the intro to One, which never happened. The explosion sounds were played over the PA however. It was an absolute delight to listen the double bass from Lars and Kirk do THAT solo live. One was followed by the track which is the most special track to most Metallica fans. I had trouble controlling tears and didn’t head bang to Master of Puppets. The song means something else to me.

Blackened followed, although James started out with the riff for Battery. How much energy does James have?! And like my friend @OldmonkMGM keeps asking, is there a way to clone that right hand? The downpicking on Master and Blackened was spot on.

The song that followed was the one which was the “Worth the Money” track(mind the sarcasm). Kirk started out with a clean guitar solo before hitting the 6th string. We knew what was coming and it was their most popular track. If I remember correctly, James did the solo and it was wonderful.

Enter Sandman was the last on the set list before the encore. The fireworks that went up from the roof of the stage can be described in only one word. EPIC!

The encore started out with Am I Evil?, the Diamond Head Cover. However, the next track was something that I never expected and perhaps, none of them expected it except this one guy in front of me. Battery! They played Battery live for us!

To top it off, they scanned the scene in Bangalore that night. Three simple words. Seek and Destroy. Boy, what a night. It was worth all the pain I had to go through in the recent weeks to make it to the show. The wait, a sprained neck, numb feet, a voice which bordered on the edge of a whisper, the money spent. It was all worth it. I hope Lars keeps his promise and they tour India again pretty soon.

PS : There are a lot more people to thank for making this an absolutely brilliant trip. I am not taking names because I don’t want it to look like a mass tweet that some of the folks do in the mornings.

PPS : Biffy Clyro were good too, but this trip was all about Metallica, so I skipped that part.