Credit goes to the bank to which I am forever in Debt for the Laughs

My colleague had applied for a credit card from HD*C bank last week. Today, he received a courier from a person who claimed to be delivering the parcel from the bank. My colleague was elated about finally getting possession of a credit card. We asked him to show the envelope.

It said IC**I bank. There was a card inside. He opened the cover to find an upgraded debit card which had apparently been applied for and the bank was sending it on his consent.

We laughed our a$$3s off at this. For two reasons

• He didn’t look at the cover which shouted IC**I
• He got a card which he never applied for

I like my Fraand’s creation

Level Headed Idiot asks Govt to Ban A Level Headed Idiot’s Blog for Blasphemous Content

In an interesting turn of events, Level Headed Idiot has asked the Government to ban A Level Headed Idiot’s Blog for hosting blasphemous content which could ignite communal tension. Level Headed Idiot requested the government to do so because he was sure that the content on his blog was offensive to a lot of people.

“The content on this blog is very passionate and full of malicious intent. I wish that no one reads this.”, the author said when asked about the reason for such a decision. He also added that he has already talked to technology giants like Google and Facebook to take off his content from their servers. Both organizations commented that while it is entirely possible to remove the content on request of an individual, it would be against their principles of privacy to completely remove any content, which might appear removed to the end user.

It was pointed out to the author that the blog has been around for more than two years and no one had said a word about the issues with it. The author said, “I am really offended by what I read on my blog. That means that there is a need to ban it. It doesn’t matter what the rest of the country or the world thinks about it”. One journalist present asked the author to stop blogging in that case. However, he counter argued that he had nothing better to do when he ran out of options on how to waste time. He also confirmed that this had nothing to do with the upcoming elections, even though no one asked him about it.

However, Level Headed Idiot’s alter ego issued a press release later in the day and it read thus:

My brain’s other half has gone completely insane. He is an attention seeking W#0&3 and did all this for publicity. You and I know that no one gives two hoots about his lame blog and even if they did, the worst they would do is pull their own tongues and commit suicide instead of going out and outraging about it. He is completely bonkers and wants more attention than some people whom he thinks, get more attention than they actually deserve due to their contacts as well as the “you rub my back, I’ll rub yours” policy. Deep inside, he is also jealous that he is not even 1% as talented as most of the people, whose work he sees all the time. Above all, he is always making failed attempts to come off as an intelligent person and this ban, he thinks, will make the public realize his intellect.

My Lunacy is Better than Yours!

The government, one for the World’s largest democracy lunocracy,  has given its go ahead to punish websites which host content that promotes enmity between classes and causes prejudice to national integration. Lol. BRB.

Back after that laughing bout.

I know we have some crazy neighbours. And this is like saying, “WE HAVE ARRIVED GAIZ!”

Tell me one instance of a riot that was caused by the internet in this country. No, don’t talk about the Egypts and Libyas of the world. Why you ask? Athenikkishtamalla! Also, those were rebellions against the governments. Not riots between different classes(Technically, it was because it involved a clash between the political class and the common populace). In order to hide their own fallacies and hear only good things about them means they do this.

Anyway, they did something really stupid because the internet based Indians are always making fun of things and don’t really go out to riot after reading anything.

Also, if we hand pick the governments from countries like Somalia, China, North Korea, Saudi Arabia, Egypt etc and mix and mash their mentalities, we get India.

I am going to apply for political asylum in some country like Canada. I’ll state the eccentricities of my government as the reason for seeking asylum.

Concluding by saying something offensive.

BEEF!

#SameSeat

I travelled with my mom from New Delhi to Trivandrum on Indigo 6E 315 on 2nd October, 2011. After asking for our choice, we were allotted seat numbers 11B and 11C. I prefer aisle to window and I wanted to be seated towards the middle of the aircraft rather than at the extremes. The boarding announcements were clear. So far, so good. Once aboard, we moved towards our seats to find out someone already seated there. On asking him to show his boarding pass, we saw that he had also been allotted 11C! We brought it to the notice of the cabin crew who contacted the ground staff. I was asked to move to 30B, which is at the rear end of the aircraft. I told them that I wanted to be seated near my mom because she wasn’t familiar with air travel. As a result, we were allotted 30E and 30F, the last two seats of the aircraft. With no push back options with the seats and sleep deprived, we had to go through hell over our 4 hour journey.

Being not in a mood to argue with them, I politely accepted the offer they made.

Thinking back, I feel that they made a grave error. How could they allot the same seat to two passengers? Who designed that software? Has he never heard of the word “transaction”? Do they realize that it is a severe flaw in the system?

Importantly, do they realize that they need to take corrective measures? I hope they read this post and do just that. I hope those of you who do read this, spread it around so that some one from their management reads this.

PS : I posted the seat numbers, flight number and date to ensure that they have enough data to see what went wrong. Who knows, the developer who wrote the application may not have put in the code to log seat allotments!